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Jun 5, 2012
think of me

Think of me, think of me fondly
When we've said goodbye
Remember me once in a while
Please promise me, you'll try

Then you'll find that once again you long
To take your heart back and be free
If you'll ever find a moment
Spare a thought for me

We never said our love was evergreen
Or as unchanging as the sea
But if you can still remember
Stop and think of me

Think of all the things
We've shared and seen
Don't think about the way
Things might have been

Think of me, think of me waking
Silent and resigned
Imagine me trying too hard
To put you from my mind

Recall those days, look back on all those times
Think of those things we'll never do
There will never be a day
When I won't think of you

Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade
They have their seasons, so do we
But please promise me that sometimes
You will think of me

Posted at 12:43 am by kattychan
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Jun 3, 2012
you dont

You don't bring me flowers
You don't sing me love songs
You hardly talk to me anymore
When you come through that door at the end of the day...
I remember when you couldn't wait to love me
Used to hate to leave me
Now after loving me late at night
When it's good for you
And you're feeling all right
Well, you just roll over and turn out the light
And you don't bring me flowers anymore
It used to be so natural to talk about forever
But used-to-be's don't count anymore
They just lay on the floor, till we sweep them away
And baby I remember all the things you taught me
I learned how to laugh and I learned how to cry
Well, I learned how to love I even learned how to lie
So you'd think I could learn how to tell you goodbye
'Cause you don't say you need me
You don't sing me love songs
You don't bring me flowers anymore...

Posted at 10:57 pm by kattychan
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May 31, 2012
on my own

Sometimes I walk alone at night
When everybody else is sleeping
I think of him and then I'm happy
With the company I'm keeping
The city goes to bed
And I can live inside my head

On my own
Pretending he's beside me
All alone
I walk with him till morning
Without him
I feel his arms around me
And when I lose my way I close my eyes
And he has found me

In the rain the pavement shines like silver
All the lights are misty in the river
In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight
And all I see is him and me forever and forever
And I know it's only in my mind
That I'm talking to myself and not to him
And although I know that he is blind
Still I say, there's a way for us

I love him
But when the night is over
He is gone
The river's just a river
Without him
The world around me changes
The trees are bare and everywhere
The streets are full of strangers

I love him
But every day I'm learning
All my life
I've only been pretending
Without me
His world would go on turning
A world that's full of happiness
That I have never known

I love him
I love him
I love him
But only on my own

Posted at 01:37 am by kattychan
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May 5, 2012
Hi again

Far longer than forever I'll hold you in my heart It's almost like you're here with me Although we're far apart Far longer than forever As constant as a star I close my eyes and I am where you are Sure as the dawn brings the sunrise We've an unshakable bond Destined to last for a lifetime and beyond Far longer than forever (Far longer than forever) I swear that I'll be true (I swear that I'll be true) I've made an everlasting vow To find a way to you Far longer than forever Like no love every known And with your love I'll never be alone Far longer than forever Much stronger than forever And with your love I'll never be alone

Posted at 03:19 am by kattychan
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Dec 5, 2011
yes i am but i am not

Yes I am a Korean adoptee or an adopted korean or an overseas korean or whatever they are calling us these days. Politically correct way of labelling who I/we are is probably to be precise: a child who has been adopted into another country/family other than korea. Firstly I would like to say I am not korean and I have no affiliation or association or connection with Korea. I have nothing against Korea but I am Australian. I care about Australian history, I think that Sydney is the most beautiful city on earth and it is and always will be my home and favourite place. For all those of you out there who are feeling sorry for me and how little I know about my "roots" just don't. I'm sick of people asking me about my parents and my sister and then upon hearing my little adoption story say "ohh, I'm sorry". Well I'm not sorry. I am so happy, so grateful, so god dam lucky to be here and alive and healthy. I would not change one thing about my situation. I do not want to "find" my birth parents. Why would I want to find my birth parents when I have the greatest parents on earth. Why would I want to find my family, when my family is ALL I need in the entire world. Nothing will change that. I don't feel like I'm missing a part of me, I feel like I have so much more than 99% of people out there who arn't even adopted. I will always appreciate that I was not born from my mothers stomach but who's to say that being born from her heart is not EVEN BETTER.
Other than the fact we are not this little tiny detail called "blood related" our family is the most normal family ever. We fight, test, learn from each other. But our love is so strong nothing tears us apart, so tell me is that BLOOD RELATED enough for you.
My sister and I both share this opinion, are we the only adopted people to be perfectly happy with our lives? Are we the only fullfilled appreciative adopted siblings not at war with ourselves or with some deep set hatred boiling beneath the surface. Are we the only ones who count ourselves lucky to be adopted? Are we the only ones without some obvious emotional turmoil/disorder from our "TERRIBLE ORDEAL"????
I have a family, they are perfect. I am Australian, I am proud.
So go ruin someone elses life with your negativity and challenges to the facts because my view will not change and you won't make me feel like I don't belong exactly where I am.

x kat

Posted at 01:45 am by kattychan
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Oct 3, 2011

In another life, I would be your girl we'd keep all our promises be us against the world. In another life I would make you stay, I wouldnt have to say you were the one that got away.

Posted at 02:41 am by kattychan
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Sep 24, 2011

I dreamed a dream in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living. I dreamed that love would never die, I dreamed that god would be forgiving. But I was young and unafraid, and dreams were made and used and wasted. There was no ransom to be paid, no song unsung no wine untasted. But the tigers come at night, with their voice as soft as thunder. As they tear your hope apart, as they tear your dream to shame. He slept a summer by my side, he filled my days with endless wonder. He took my childhood in his stride, but he was gone when autumn came. And still I dream he'll come to me, and we will live the years together. But there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather. I had a dream my life would be. So different from this hell I'm living, so different now to what it seemed. Now life has killed the dream I dreamed.

Posted at 01:12 am by kattychan
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Sep 23, 2011
Im baaaack

now and then i think of when we were together like when you said you were so happy you could die told myself that you were right for me but felt so lonely in your company but that was love and its an ache that i will remember but you didnt have to cut me off make out like it never happened and that we were nothing and i dont even need your love but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so rough you didnt have to stoop so low have your friends collect your things and change your number guess i dont even need that though now your just somebody that i used to know now and then i think of all the times you screwed me over but had me feeling like it was always something that id done and i dont want to live that way reading into every word you say you said you could let it go but now your just soebody that i used to know :(

Posted at 12:48 am by kattychan
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May 3, 2011
harsh reality

I think I'm in shock, just plain shock.
Its a harsh reality when the person who you love tells you they dont care about you.

Only there for the good times,
Its easier to deal with you if I lead you on and pretend to care
I dont care
I dont care
I dont care

Posted at 01:36 am by kattychan
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I don't know how to love him.
What to do, how to move him.
I've been changed, yes really changed.
In these past few days, when I've seen myself,
I seem like someone else.
I don't know how to take this.
I don't see why he moves me.
He's a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before,
In very many ways,
He's just one more.
Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love,
Let my feelings out?
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Don't you think it's rather funny,
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been
So calm, so cool, no lover's fool,
Running every show.
He scares me so.
I never thought I'd come to this.
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said he loved me,
I'd be lost. I'd be frightened.
I couldn't cope, just couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head. I'd back away.
I wouldn't want to know.
He scares me so.
I want him so.
I love him so.

Posted at 01:35 am by kattychan
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